I have begun to work with a woman who heals body and spirit. She is a natural healer, but she teaches a practice called Emotional Freedom Technique that involves tapping key points of the body’s meridians while affirming both difficulties and their release. I tap my head, my eyes, my collar bones, my solar plexus. I speak about my fears: abandonment, defectiveness, subjugation and emotional deprivation. I do this both as a kind of voodoo and with a faith in this alternative means of allowing God access to my spirit and my body. I know that my wounds are deep and my scars are both of the body and the spirit body.
Our deepest wounds are the lens through which we see the world. My wounds—which have become beliefs—are old and deep. Most often I have no idea how much they run me and how thoroughly they distort what I see and hear and believe even now.
In AA we say “don’t leave before the miracle happens.” I have experienced many miracles and now it seems I am on the brink of another. This emotional healing, this freedom from the old beliefs that run me ragged, this clearing of the lens through which I see the world, this is the miracle that I want and that I ask for and for which I wait while I tap and tap and tap.