I went to a meeting today and talked about my thinking. An AA friend named Bill says, whenever he speaks, “I didn’t have a drink all day.” For him it has been many many days but he makes the point that he didn’t drink today.
I have not had a drink today or for many many days, but as I said in the meeting, “I want to be able to say that I didn’t have a THINK all day.” It is my thinking that undoes me. It is my thinking that upsets me. It is my thinking that unravels me. It is my thinking that scares me. I scare myself coming and going.
That is the miracle of recovery that I most want: the evidence of being restored to sanity will be when I d not scan and sift and search for thoughts that will scare me. I am so ready for this change. So ready.