What Would You Be Thinking About?

I had a great idea today about getting underneath the thinking and worrying that I am always doing. Try this:

When you find yourself obsessing about that next skirt, bag, meal, trip, man, job…ask yourself: "What would I be thinking about if I wasn't thinking about this?"

Ten bucks (toward that new bag) says that under your  worry thinking is either an old pain that would resolve if you just let it out, or a big creative idea that is just waiting to spin you into joy--but you are scared.

I'm going to try this interrupter, "What would I be thinking about if I wasn't thinking about this?"

You try it too.

Joy Not Happiness

In Sunday's New York Times I read this wonderful essay about quiet and stillness by Pico Iyer. Perfect for everyone you know especially friends in recovery. It reminded me of my friend Bridgid's saying, "Feelings can't hit a moving target."

Sit still; go for stillness and not action; do less not more; seek joy not happiness.

Here's the link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/opinion/sunday/the-joy-of-quiet.html

Happy, Joyous and Free

We are told that the gift of recovery is that we will become happy, joyous and free. Freedom we know: freedom from hangovers and sickness and obsession and shame. Freedom from fear. And happiness yes. Not all the time. We do not stop being human; and life happens to us as it does to everyone else. So happiness is not a constant even though periods of happiness will increase the longer we are active in recovery.

But Joy is something else. One of the best things I learned about Joy is this:

“Joy comes from my relationship with God.  So I can be Joyous even when I am not happy.”

As we daily pursue a connection with our Higher Power we can be happy, joyous and free. This is why recovery continues even after our last drink was many years ago.

Happiness and Joy

Certain books come into our lives when we need them. Last week a work friend who knows little of my recovery life gave me a copy of Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book, “Something More.” I put the book on my home altar/ reading area where I do my morning meditations. A few days later on a whim (God’s whisper?) I read the first few pages.

It was like reading a message from a spirit guide. The exact words at the exactly right time. Yeah, something about “when the student is ready…”. Yep I was.

Here’s a sample:

“Many of us confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is often triggered by external events: the promotion, he loves you back, they approve your mortgage application. Happiness camouflages a lot of fears. But joy is the absence of fear. Joy is your soul’s knowledge that if you don’t get the promotion, keep the relationship or buy the house, it’s because you weren’t meant to and you’re meant to have something better, deeper, richer, more.”

“Joy is the absence of fear”. That’s a phrase worth holding onto. “Happiness camouflages a lot of fears but joy is the absence of fear.”That’s probably my number one prayer: remove my fear. In recovery: remove my self-centered fear.