Monday, March 08, 2021

Getting Your Buttons Pushed

You know what it’s like to get your buttons pushed. No matter how long we are in recovery we can get tangled up. Suddenly in a conversation or a situation we are flooded with feelings that come from a past experience that is totally unrelated to the situation at hand.

That can be annoying or embarrassing or damaging if we are not aware that the feelings in the present belong to a situation in the past. But it happens, and it is an opportunity to grow. You’ll find a rich mine of material here for steps six and seven. 

You are going along, having a perfectly nice day, then in a seemingly benign conversation—or an email or a text—suddenly you are furious, or hurt or scared. What just happened?


You got your buttons pushed! 

It’s not comfortable and not fun but with the right attitude you can see the gift that this is. 

It is NORMAL to have this experience. The key is to watch for patterns. Is there a pattern in the type of person you spoke to? In their manner of speech? In certain words they used? In the issue you were discussing?

Here is what I tell people in my Workplace Communication class, but it also applies in our home life and our social lives:

If you want to be a good communicator you need to know where YOUR buttons are.

People can only push your buttons if YOU are not aware that they are YOUR buttons. This may be the most uncomfortable leadership skill you can acquire, but it’s ultimately more important than using the fanciest technology in your industry. 

If you don't recognize your own buttons you will always be tempted to say, "It's his fault or "It’s her fault." 

Always be willing to go back and look at your childhood experiences: 

Because that's where your buttons were installed.

When you have an experience of having your buttons pushed you CAN do more than react or repress. You can notice your patterns. Exactly what button was that? Who else pushed that? Who pushed it earlier in your life? 

The answers to those  questions will give you a lot of insight but don’t stop there. Take that pattern—and your insight--to your sponsor, wise friend or counselor. 

Sometimes our buttons get pushed at work, and that’s tricky territory. We don’t want to be unprofessional, but we can all get tripped up when a family wound shows up at work. We can forget ourselves and say or do—or believe—the wrong thing.

In that case you may want to talk to someone you worked with at another organization. If you are still good friends with a former colleague they can be a big help to your growth and change. They will help you remember how you were in that past job, and who pushed your buttons there. Again, look for the patterns. 

You’ll want to remember the safe sharing guideline: “Share. Check. Share.”  (Share a little. Check out the reaction. If you feel safe and supported, only then share a little bit more.) 

And keep it out of the realm of gossip. Gossip, even though it might feel good in the moment, doesn’t help us to grow.

14 comments:

Julian Jones said...

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Unknown said...

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I got my ex lover back after working with spell caster said...

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nat king cole said...


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Emily Sarah said...

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Here his contact..WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 ,
Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com
,
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Charlotte Sadie said...

I just got my ex husband back through the help of Dr OSOFO love spells Experts!..My husband left me for another woman, This was just 2 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster call Dr OSOFO and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 9 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy andent to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to man, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.OSOFO for help now..Here his contact, WhatsApp him: +2349065749952 {or} Email him at: ( osofo.48hoursolutioncenter@gmail.com )    

Anonymous said...

How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........

I am Stephine by name also from Canada. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address orman.spiritualist3002@gmail.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Orman His email: orman.spiritualist3002@gmail.com you can also add Dr.Orman on whatsApp +905396060968

Anonymous said...

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My husband left me for another woman 3 months ago and ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love whom i have spent my entire life with. A friend of mine told me he saw some testimonies of a spell caster called Dr sakomo that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great spell caster on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 2 days my husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through.He came back to me and now we are happy together. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable. Thank you Dr.Sakomo for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great spell caster here is the email address:

drsakomo@gmail.com or reunionspellhome@gmail.com
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Anonymous said...

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