Monday, March 08, 2021

Getting Your Buttons Pushed

You know what it’s like to get your buttons pushed. No matter how long we are in recovery we can get tangled up. Suddenly in a conversation or a situation we are flooded with feelings that come from a past experience that is totally unrelated to the situation at hand.

That can be annoying or embarrassing or damaging if we are not aware that the feelings in the present belong to a situation in the past. But it happens, and it is an opportunity to grow. You’ll find a rich mine of material here for steps six and seven. 

You are going along, having a perfectly nice day, then in a seemingly benign conversation—or an email or a text—suddenly you are furious, or hurt or scared. What just happened?


You got your buttons pushed! 

It’s not comfortable and not fun but with the right attitude you can see the gift that this is. 

It is NORMAL to have this experience. The key is to watch for patterns. Is there a pattern in the type of person you spoke to? In their manner of speech? In certain words they used? In the issue you were discussing?

Here is what I tell people in my Workplace Communication class, but it also applies in our home life and our social lives:

If you want to be a good communicator you need to know where YOUR buttons are.

People can only push your buttons if YOU are not aware that they are YOUR buttons. This may be the most uncomfortable leadership skill you can acquire, but it’s ultimately more important than using the fanciest technology in your industry. 

If you don't recognize your own buttons you will always be tempted to say, "It's his fault or "It’s her fault." 

Always be willing to go back and look at your childhood experiences: 

Because that's where your buttons were installed.

When you have an experience of having your buttons pushed you CAN do more than react or repress. You can notice your patterns. Exactly what button was that? Who else pushed that? Who pushed it earlier in your life? 

The answers to those  questions will give you a lot of insight but don’t stop there. Take that pattern—and your insight--to your sponsor, wise friend or counselor. 

Sometimes our buttons get pushed at work, and that’s tricky territory. We don’t want to be unprofessional, but we can all get tripped up when a family wound shows up at work. We can forget ourselves and say or do—or believe—the wrong thing.

In that case you may want to talk to someone you worked with at another organization. If you are still good friends with a former colleague they can be a big help to your growth and change. They will help you remember how you were in that past job, and who pushed your buttons there. Again, look for the patterns. 

You’ll want to remember the safe sharing guideline: “Share. Check. Share.”  (Share a little. Check out the reaction. If you feel safe and supported, only then share a little bit more.) 

And keep it out of the realm of gossip. Gossip, even though it might feel good in the moment, doesn’t help us to grow.

28 comments:

Julian Jones said...

My heart was falling apart, my emotions were dying slowly, i was gradually losing my beauty, All because the man i got married to 4 years back was no longer the same man again, he started going out with women , drinking in all the bar, all he do say was we getting a divorce ASAP that i look old to him , i cried my life , i apologize to him to forgive me if i had done any wrong to him yet all he was saying was his done with me and he has found a new woman for his self not until i came across a post online on how people were talking about a love doctor who has helped so many people to get there lovers back so i made no hesitation to contact him via his WhatsApp ( +2348100368288 ) and also wrote a mail for him on his Email: ( priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com ) before i finished explaining my problems to him he already told me all about my life , i was very surprised and he told me what to do in the process for the love spell and in less than 48 hours everything was ready , he sent me a package and i did as he said so at night i was on my bed sleeping when i saw my husband kneeling down at my front begging for me to forgive him, i thought it was a dream till today, i am so grateful to you PRIEST AZIBA, please anyone going through sure problem should contact PRIEST AZIBA for your solution before it become too late for you. DR Email: priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com DR WHATSAPP: +2348100368288 we still have Angels on earth.

Unknown said...

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Janey Cooker said...

My marriage was going well when all of a sudden my husband started having an extra marital affair with his secretary and when I found out he no longer comes home. I started searching for help because I can't raise the kids alone and this was when I met Oyama who told me not to worry about it and that he was gonna restore my marriage. That was how he did a spell casting and my husband came to me pleading for all his been doing behind my back.. Thank you Oyama. You're a man of your words! Mail; droyamasolutiontemple@gmail.com
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Williams Pater said...

Hello everyone i Am williams pater and i am from USA i am here to give my testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,olu I was heartbroken because i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr,OLU and decided to email him on his email i saw on the internet,(drolusolutionhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a large penis.thanks to DR OLU for is herbal product. you can also reach him with emsil  drolusolutionhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him today on this number [ +2348140654426 ] 

Anonymous said...


Am here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my wife have been having a lot of problem living together, she will always not make me happy because she have fallen in love with another man outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my wife leave this woman but the more i talk to her the more she makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because she no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my wife again. this spell caster who was a man told me that my wife is really under a great spell that she have been charm by some magic, so he told me that he was going to make all things normal back. he did the spell on my wife and after 5 days my wife changed completely she even apologize with the way she treated me that she was not her self, i really thank this man his name is Dr ose he have bring back my wife back to me i want you all to contact him who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem he will solve it for you. his email is oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com he is a man and his great. wish you good time.
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Charlotte Sadie said...

I just got my ex husband back through the help of Dr OSOFO love spells Experts!..My husband left me for another woman, This was just 2 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster call Dr OSOFO and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 9 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy andent to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to man, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.OSOFO for help now..Here his contact, WhatsApp him: +2349065749952 {or} Email him at: ( osofo.48hoursolutioncenter@gmail.com )    

Anonymous said...

How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........

I am Stephine by name also from Canada. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address orman.spiritualist3002@gmail.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Orman His email: orman.spiritualist3002@gmail.com you can also add Dr.Orman on whatsApp +905396060968

Anonymous said...

DR. SAKOMO IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE WHO RESTORED MY BROKEN RELATIONSHIP AND I HIGHLY RECOMMENDS DR. SAKOMO TO ANYONE IN NEED OF HELP!

My husband left me for another woman 3 months ago and ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love whom i have spent my entire life with. A friend of mine told me he saw some testimonies of a spell caster called Dr sakomo that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great spell caster on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 2 days my husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through.He came back to me and now we are happy together. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable. Thank you Dr.Sakomo for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great spell caster here is the email address:

drsakomo@gmail.com or reunionspellhome@gmail.com
you can also call him or add him on Whats-app:+905394479522
View his blog https://drsakomolovespellhome.com/blog

ROSA LEE said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I am very excited and thankful to DR ISIRAMEN for his Great work in my relationship. I never knew people still have powers and make things happened this away. My name is Veronica, my boyfriend Gabriel left me for 2 years .he was having an affair online and sending pictures. he said he is unhappy and has been for awhile now. He don't love me anymore. He has moved out for about a month now ever since then my life have been filled with pains, sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who broke my virginity when I was 24 years old about two years old. a friend of mine, Natasha told me she saw some testimonies of this great DR ISIRAMEN that he can bring back my lover within 48 hours. I laugh out and said I am not interested but because of the love I had for him, I contacted the powerful doctor, he assured me that my lover is going to call me within 3days.To my greatest surprise my boyfriend called me for the first time after 2 years that he is missing me badly and that he is very sorry for everything he made me pass through. I still can't believe it just too real to be real. Than you DR ISIRAMEN for bringing back my lover, for any one who might need the help of this great doctor here is the email: drisiramen@hotmail.com or call or wha+17072613058 to solve your problem

Great Abolo said...

Are you having issues in your relationship, or finding it difficult to have a child of your own or are you the type having any diseases in your body. I will advice you to contact Dr. Abolo of Abolospell@gmail.com . The potency of his spell is so effective and can reunite broken relationship and can also make one get pregnant know matter the situation and not only that, he also has the power to cure all type of diseases within the period of 48hours.. Contact him today and thank me later.

Contact details : Abolospell@gmail.com

Great Abolo said...

Words will not be enough for me to appreciate Doctor Abolo of Abolospell@gmail.com who lived in Africa, for the successful spells he have been casting for me, I have never trust any anybody, the way I trust him. This great dr was the one that saved my marriage. If you use him, I promise you will trust him too. Any spells he cast for me are 100%. I see results the same day. He also cured me from a deadly virus (HSV), a virus I known as a medical doctor that I am, it don’t have cure, he cured a patient I introduced to him to get pregnant after 15 years of marriage. He has active herbal remedies for diseases, infection and viruses. you can get him via; Email: Abolospell@gmail.com or you may decide to send him a msg on whatsapp here +27743411428. thanks doctor you are the best.

Tamara Barrow said...

I'm 61 years old. I contracted HPV in 2011' I has be taking lot treatment for it and embarrassed some months ago the wart stated coming out seriously, I used lot recommendation because there was lot warts around my anus and was so . but today I'm totally happy I got the virus eliminated by using natural treatment from Dr voodoo herbal center after his treatment I got cured. all the warts went away' seriously believed Dr. voodoo he have the cure for human papillomavirus because he has eliminated hpv been in my body since 2011, Dr. voodoo make it possible for me. Here is Dr. voodoo email: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com or WhatsApp him via +2348140120719 he is welled capable of curing terrible diseases.

Brittany Adams said...

I want to share a great testimony on this website on how great Priest Babaka help me in falling pregnant,me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for over 4years, but there where no luck so we decided to contact the family doctor and after all the test have been done,he said to us that my fallopian tube is not functioning.then one day i was in the office when a friend of mine who have the same problem with me, fall pregnant after she contacted Priest Babaka .she directed me to him and when i contacted him through his email and he did the purification on the pregnancy spell and i used his herbal remedy , in 2weeks time i was feeling some how and i went to meet the family doctor who told me that i am pregnant.if you know that you have a similar problem like this, or any fertility issue and you want to be pregnant you can contact Priest Babaka via Email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka

Anonymous said...

My name is Ross , I really want to testify to the good work of Dr. Kaduka for what he has done for me . A couple of years ago, my husband left home after we had little misunderstanding, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails and no sign of him anywhere.and at the same time My daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, I met a psychic, he said he would help me, i give him a try but all to no nothing happened, i lost hope completely, my daughter's situation got worse each day. Last month, I saw a posting concerning the good works of the Spiritual professional(Dr. Kaduka), i told the great man my problem and he told me that there is nothing to be worried about for me contacting him all my problems are solved .. He asked me to provide the spiritual materials needed to cast the spells and of cost which i did In just 48 hours my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a call from the new job i apple for with an Real Estate company, right now my daughter's is finally healed. I want to thank DR. Kaduka,for what he has done for me and my family. you can contact him via email: Kadukatemple@gmail. com or whatspp +39 351 140 6759 his the solution to all problem i no you are going to be the next to share your testimony to people you can call the great man on +39 351 140 6759

Anonymous said...

My name is Collins Gary from switzerland, i want to testify to the general public how my relationship was restored back by the great power's of Dr Zuma after three months of loneliness, my ex-lover called me after my contact with Dr Zuma that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily married. All thanks to Dr Zuma for his wonderful spiritual help. You can contact him on his via email spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com call him +15068001647 if you have similar problem, or any solution you ....

unknown said...


It was a dream come through when my ex lover called to apologize for leaving me, And that is willing to do anything to get me back. I was speechless when he was saying all these over the phone because these were my request when i contacted Dr Nana and within the space of 11 hours Dr Nana made it a reality, My advice to anyone out there who is emotionally depressed or having any similar relationship problem, to contact nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com, or whatsapp +2349029905501. Dr Nana your kindness will never be forgotten.

Ric Clayton said...

I really want to thank Dr Emu for saving my marriage. My wife really treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my wife has changed towards me. Then she told me to contact Dr Emu that he will help me bring back my wife and change her back to a good woman. I never believed in all this but I gave it a try. Dr Emu casted a spell of return of love on her, and my wife came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again. If you are going through any relationship stress or you want back your Ex or Divorce husband you can contact his whatsapp +2347012841542 or email emutemple@gmail.com
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Zander Schumm said...

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CALL/WHATSAPP +1 803-820-2671 .

Maxwell Oliver said...

Earlier this year, I had a terrible fight with my husband and he had no choice but to leave the house and i thought he was just anger that made him left. After few days, i couldn't contact him or get to know where he was. I waited and waited but he never returned or called me. I was filled with pains and remorse over what happened. I tried all i could to get him back but to no avail until i contacted DR JOHN SOCO who came to my rescue. He did his work perfectly to reunite us and my husband called and return back home exactly after 48 hours just as he promised. DR JOHN SOCO. is so real and he never fails. contact him if you need any help. email:drjohnsoco@gmail.com or text him via , Whatsapp/Call +1(803) 820-2671 ..

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Anonymous said...

I vowed from the beginning never to be a cheat and stood my ground to ensure I built a happy home but unfortunately my wife never trusted me enough. I wandered for months trying to get her back and sought help from various sources including her family intervention but never yielded success. I came in contact with Dr Ilekhojie who I doubted at the earlier stage when i got in contact with. I had to keep hope alive and complied with the procedures just the way he explained everything to me. He assured me of her return with 3 days once he is finished with his reconciliation ritual. It was the third that when she called that it dawned on me that everything Dr Ilekhojie said was true because i earlier met people who promised but failed. I am telling everyone about Dr Ilekhojie and his kind heart for helping people. Call/whatsapp +2348147400259 Email; gethelp05@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

I was the last person on earth to accept the fact that spells exist or work not until I was referred to Dr Ilekhojie. He promised to help me reconcile with my partner. I had no other option than to give it a try because 3 months after the divorce, I was demoted at my place of work due to depression and lack of concentration. My life was draining away each day and i was confused on what to do. I was happy and enjoying my work but all of a sudden, i became miserable after the divorce because it was quick and a short process. Only Dr Ilekhojie gave me a way and i am happy i believe him. Just last week here, I was promoted back to my position and I’m here to share my own experience with this man called Dr Ilekhojie. In all situation there’s always a way out. Contact Dr Ilekhojie via TEXT OR WHATSAPP MESSENGER with: +2348147400259 and Email on: gethelp05@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

My husband just woke up and decided our marriage was over. For a few months now, Hank and i have not been going well because he was having an affair with his assistant at work. I loved my husband so much and decided to stay and work on our marriage. In a short time, Hank stopped coming home and his close friend told me he has another apartment where he live with her. I was hurt and went on seeking for help because Hank was different from the man i married 10 years ago. Luckily, i found Dr Ilekhojie who promised to return my husband back to me. He performed a reconciliation spell and he returned back and now we are both happy again with our boys. If you have issues like mine, send Dr Ilekhojie an Email gethelp05@gmail.com or contact him on Whatsapp/Viber +2348147400259