This morning at my regular meeting I heard men talk about how recovery changed their lives. Tough guys were softened, fathers recommitted, lost men were found, partners tried again, new romances began and they tried to do it differently.
It makes my heart happy to see men change. To know that my father and my brothers might have changed too. To know that there is an endless supply of love in these rooms and we are changed by that love.
In early recovery I used to hear, “Let us love you until you can love yourself.” It felt like a koan, a bafflement. I didn’t think you could love someone into change. We mistakenly try to do that in romantic relationships and sometimes as parents. It doesn’t work.
But in AA it does. We can be loved by our AA fellows until we can love ourselves.
That is quite a Valentine.