Any Amount and Any Time

Sometimes the little things turn out to be the big things. We know this about relationships. That remark on the first date. The joke made about the ex. The comment about a former boss. Later, we look back and sigh; we know that we knew. The little things were all there.

I have been writing for many years. Fiction, nonfiction, columns, essays and now two and a half books. Even I am surprised. I did all this writing with a big and busy day job, with a sad divorce, then a happy new marriage, several step kids and even cancer—his, mine and ours. And I kept on writing.

Recently my new book, “Out of the Woods”, was launched and I’ve been asked, “How did you do this with your job and travel and school and taking care of John? And I had to think about it for a minute. How did I do all that? It turns out that I did it in little bits and by writing “any amount” and anytime.

Yes, I have fantasized about a life of just writing. Once I took off two years to “just write” and it turned out that I didn’t like it much. I missed the “water-cooler” aspect of work. I discovered that I needed the socialization of a workplace—the problems and the people and the gossip. I write a lot about human beings and workplaces are full of them.

So I had to learn some tricks. My favorite writing tool came from my yoga teacher in Baltimore. When I would try a pose she would gently coax, “Can you stretch any amount more?” or “Can you hold it any amount longer?” Any amount. Just a little bit. Just a tad longer, higher, deeper, more. No giant commitments. No unreachable promises like: “I will write two hours each day.” Nope—just “any amount”. It turns out that writing is kind of like yoga and I could write “any amount” every day and it added up.

Something else that makes writing in a busy life possible: index cards. I take notes on index cards all the time. At work, at dinner, at church, in a cab. Index cards look so official that no one seems to notice or mind. And I'm writing.

I did learn not to write while I drive. I tried but it’s too scary. But another little tool helps me: I love my small tape recorder. Nope, not my phone. I know it can record but the phone reminds me of obligations. My little recorder is only for writing. And it reinforces that I can write anywhere.

For a long time I tried to only write at my desk, or only on retreat or only… Well, forget only. Writers write. I can write anywhere. It may not be brilliant but I capture ideas and write them down. Later, at my desk, I can make them prettier. Yeah, pretty does matter.

It turns out that writing is a lot like 12-step recovery: I do it one day at a time, in tiny bites and I do it everywhere in all of my life.

Surrender, Diane

We never really do it once. Though, when I was younger in recovery I so wanted that to be true, and I hung on every word of the old-timers who said they took the Third Step once and from then on it was all…

Well, it was all what? Many of those old timers were smoking and overeating and grouchy. But not all. There were also those people in AA and in Alanon who did have some kind of continual peace or perspective that left them more or less sane. I still want that.

I raised my hand today in my home group and asked for the topic of “Real Surrender” by which I mean the kind that comes from deep, deep down. Often that’s the kind that comes when I body slam into the wall of my own insistence and control. Over the years it has helped me to remind myself, “Surrender when you see the wall coming.” We do not always have to hit the wall first.

I’m feeling it now cause I’m heading out for a week of writing. Insecure writing. Shaky writing. Writing I care deeply about. Writing that has my heart all tied up in it. And yes, writing for which I have a certain outcome in mind. Ugh. Let go, let go, let go. But still.

So here’s my practice and it comes from Julia Cameron --who is no relation except in the ancient Celtic underground—She says in her wonderful classic, “The Artist’s Way”: “You take care of the quantity and God will take care of the quality.” And then, though she doesn’t actually say it, “That’s that.”

Women Writing

“If a woman writes about herself, she’s a narcissist.
If a man does the same, he’s describing the human condition.”

                                                                    --Curtis Sittenfeld

No Crystal Ball

My meditation book this morning quotes from Psalm 119: 105: “Your word is like a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.”

It hit me: A light for one step at a time, not a crystal ball to show the entire future.

Dang! I would so much prefer the crystal ball or one of those bright sweeping spotlights that show everything. But the promise is a lamp.

It reminds me of the advice to writers from Robert Frost. He said: It’s very hard to drive in fog when you can only see as far as your headlights. But in fact you can drive a very long way and you can get home if you simply proceed to drive looking at only the road your headlights reveal.

Writing too.

Life too.

Reading and Writing

Being a writer will make you a better reader. Not because of some cognitive or intellectual process but simply because if you are supposed to be writing, and you are afraid to begin, the very best procrastination is reading. So if you promise yourself that you’ll do a lot of writing that’s a sure fire way to get a lot of reading done.