Should

Isn’t it easy to see what other people should do? What they should change in themselves. The fights they should give up on. The people they should stop fighting or the relationship they should leave. We can see the career they should pursue and even the ways they should wear their hair or edit their wardrobe.

But what about me? What about us?

Some days I catch myself when I am thinking, “Doesn’t she know?” and “Doesn’t he get it?” and I remind myself: There is something just a startling and just as clear to others about me: Things –for today-I just simply do not see.

On those days I can give other people and myself a little tiny break.

Don't Name It

I heard an artist speak this week about making art and how what we think chnages what we see. He was talking about perception, and how thinking distorts what we percieve and hence what we believe.

He said, “The best way to see something is to NOT name it—words stop seeing.”

It’s a challenge but it works...when you look at a tree try to see it with out saying “tree” to yourself or telling yourself all the things you know about trees: green, vertical, growing, leaves, etc. Just see without the words and you’ll see more.

Pretty cool.

Then it hit me; I could try doing the same thing with people. What if I saw him without saying, “boyfriend” or “lover” or “student” or “teacher” or “man” or “mine” or any other words that typically flow thru my head unbidden? What would I see if I looked but didn’t label and didn’t name?