Give Yourself an Anniversary Gift

Here’s a question for people who have been in recovery for many years: 

Do you buy yourself a gift for your recovery anniversary? I’ve learned that recovering people celebrate anniversaries in different ways. I love to give and receive gifts so I started early to celebrate the milestones.

I know one fellow in Baltimore, Maryland who puts a dollar in his top drawer each time he attends an AA meeting and on his anniversary he counts his money and buys a new golf

club or luxury gadget. Another woman I knew in Overeaters Anonymous bought herself a piece of good jewelry for each anniversary she celebrated that ended in a 5 or a zero. 

Another recovery friend loves boots so her anniversary gift has become a splurge pair

—“these boots are made for walking the recovery road.”

Another kind of anniversary gift I hear about is of folks giving themselves the gift of a twelve-step retreat, or a spa weekend or a visit to a place like Kripalu Yoga Center or Omega Institute.

Twenty-five years ago I bought a beautiful scarf for my fifth anniversary and that became my annual gift. I have some gorgeous scarves. Sometimes I choose a scarf that fits the theme of my year—One year when I had done a lot of work focused on healing my relation with my mother I chose a scarf with a Mother’s Day theme. The year that much of my growth came from losses I bought a scarf with autumn leaves falling from blackened trees. The scarf from year ten is pink with silver keys—my reminder that I have the “keys to the

kingdom”. But my favorite, I think, is a rose colored silk square with an image of a ship in a bottle. That is my reminder of how I was once trapped and how I sailed free.

Many of us also give gifts on our anniversaries—especially a “birthday” gift to a local Intergroup or a charity we care about. After all these years, and coming Out of the Woods, we know that service is gratitude in action. And sometimes, gratitude is gratitude in action too.

Happy Anniversary to Me

This post could also be called “The importance of meetings.” Last week on the actual day of my anniversary I almost missed it. For the first time in years I didn’t feel a big rush on my special day. In past years my recovery anniversary day was Special. I chose my outfit carefully, I let nothing bother me, and I wrote a code word on my agenda at work to remind me that “Nothing matters today—it’s my anniversary.”

But last week there was none of that. I was just not feeling it. I had to remind myself to remind my husband, and I made myself do an extra special gratitude list. But still…

…and then today, at my home group, I chaired the meeting, and it has made all the difference. Part of it was talking, and part was having friends with me, and part was hearing myself tell parts of my story. But it was also the experience of what we do in meetings: we give and we receive.

I spoke the gratitude and then I felt it. I spoke the miracle of recovery and then I felt it. I spoke about who I had been, what happened and who I am today and I felt the miracle inside me. This incredible gift, this thing I was too sick to choose or hope for all those years ago, the goodness of this life and of these practices and habits we have as recovering people. It came to me when I spoke it in a meeting.

Oh those folding chairs in church basements—where the magic happens.