Are We Restless or Are We Just Human?

You will hear this sometimes at twelve-step meetings— “We are just restless and discontent.”  The basis of that idea comes from the Big Book and recovering people often turn that into a self-blaming statement and turn it on themselves and others.

Sometimes I hear this injunction against restlessness said with a suggestion that if one’s sobriety was better they’d not be restless anymore. 

Or sometimes, even more damming, if one worked the steps the “right” way then that the damned restlessness would slip away.

But that attitude and belief disregards what philosophers and great theologians have taught us about being human. We’ve learned from Epictetus and Aristotle and even Saint Augustine. Augustine was just one thinker who described restlessness as part of the human condition. He famously wrote, “God you made us as we are, and we are restless until we rest in you.” Augustine was not writing about addicts. He was describing the people that God created.

So, I wonder sometimes if it isn’t a bit arrogant to suggest that if we alcoholics just did our program right then our restlessness would disappear? But we forget to ask, if it left us then we’d be…what? —better than other human beings? Where’s the humility in that? 

And I also wonder if we attempt to chase the removal of restlessness like we used to try to chase away uncomfortable feelings-and we did that by using drugs, alcohol, food, work…. you know the list. That’s just addictive “fix me” thinking.

If restlessness is part of God’s creation for human beings, and if we are to be restless until we rest in God, then we might not want to suggest that we have a special path or that we are somehow smarter than God.

Perhaps the wiser, more humbler, and more faith-filled course is to note our restlessness as a sign that we are human and be very grateful for that.

Restless and Fired into Madness

 “We are fired into life with a madness that comes from the gods and which would have us believe that we can have a great love, perpetuate our own seed, and contemplate the divine.”

This is Plato describing the human condition. His description turns on “Which would have us believe…” There is nothing new under the sun, and it’s not likely that addicts are specially gifted but just maybe extra sensitive to that inherent madness which is born in us (fired into life) or maybe we hold on longer than the average bear to believing that we deserve and can have all of it: great love and the divine.

I think, though that we can. Not by using our special medicines (alcohol, pills, food, sex, work or loving too much), and not by holding ourselves up as special or different than other humans but by and through surrender.

I’m contemplating this right now as I read the wonderful book, “The Holy Longing” by Ronald Rolheiser: Canadian, theologian, specialist in spirituality and systematic theology. This is one of those books that was recommended to me over and over and now, finally, I am leaning into it.

I’ll share more here as we go along.

We are Restless or Maybe We're Just Human

You will hear it said twelve-step meetings—“We were restless and discontent.”  The accusation comes from the Big Book and recovering people often turn that accusation on themselves and others.

Sometimes I hear this injunction against restlessness said with a suggestion that if one’s sobriety was better we’d not be restless anymore. Or sometimes, more damming, if one worked the steps the “right” way that that damned restlessness would slip away.

But that attitude and belief disregards what philosophers and great theologians have taught us about being human. Epictetus and Aristotle and even Saint Augustine suggested that restlessness is part of the human condition. Augustine famously wrote, “God, you made us as we are and we are restless until we rest in you.” Augustine was not writing about addicts. He was describing the people that God created.

So, I wonder sometimes if it isn’t a kind of arrogance to suggest that if we alcoholics just did our program right then our restlessness would leave? And if it left us then we’d be, what?—better than other human beings? Where’s the humility in that?

If restlessness is part of God’s recipe for human beings, and if we are to be restless until we rest in God, then we might not want to suggest that we have a special path or that we are somehow smarter than God.