When I was new in recovery I heard: “Find someone who has what you want and ask them to be your sponsor.” I always laugh at things we tell the newcomer. How would I know what someone had? So the first woman I picked as a sponsor was tall, blonde, had a degree from Harvard and was a published author: She had all the things I wanted! God laughed though, because she also had a great program of recovery—I had no idea about that -and she had grit! She took me grocery shopping, came to my house many times and took my phone calls at night, on her vacation and while nursing her newborn baby. And she made me read and write and work the steps.
Over the years I’ve had maybe ten sponsors, step sponsors and sponsors in other 12 step programs. Each one the perfect teacher, guide and gift for that stage of my recovery.
Tonight I had dinner with my sponsor and some of what we share is having a long career in AA and –God remains good—she also has experience in building a business while working an equally important day job, she’s an artist, wife, stepmother and a woman who loves clothes and style.
How lucky did I get? That very first sponsor told me one day, after I suggested that my new life in recovery probably meant I should not color my hair anymore: “You did not get sober to wear sackcloth and ashes: buy some new clothes and make an appointment to get some blonde highlights.”
We are met at the level of our needs in this program.