Today I heard myself giving advice to a sponsee. And I thought, Hey, I could take my own advice. There is one of the benefits of sponsorship: you hear yourself say smart stuff and sometimes apply it to yourself.
The woman I talked to was struggling with a decision. She had made her list of pluses and minuses and had prayed but was still stuck so I offered her this that I learned earlier in recovery:
First: The 10-10-10 rule: Imagine that you have decided Yes to this particular decision and ask yourself will this matter in ten minutes? Ten months? Ten years? Then imagine the opposite, saying No to this choice and ask the 10-10-10 again.
Second: Yes!!!! Or no. This I learned ages ago from a tape called "Walking the Beauty Path, Native American Wisdom for Women": “If it’s not a YES!!!! then it’s a no. What it means is that only a clear absolute YES!!! (With the three exclamation points) is a yes, anything less than that is a no. We all know what a clear YES feels like, if you don’t feel that, your answer is no.
Good stuff, huh? The blessings of a long recovery.