Monday, April 13, 2009

Live and Let Live

I heard Live and Let Live first in Al-anon and then in AA. For a long time I thought it meant, “Leave other people alone; mind your own business; stay out of their lives.” But that is only the “Let live” part of the slogan.

Over time I have come to understand the first part: “Live…”. Live your own life. Have a life. Have a life of your own.

Now I am coming to understand the “and” in the middle of that slogan. Live is first because we have to have a life of our own or we have no choice but to tumble into someone else’s life. We have to create and sustain and nurture our own complete and complex life and by doing that –almost by default--we have much less desire, interest or time to subsume or intrude into someone else’s.

When I am regularly investing in MY work life, social life, spiritual life, creative life, physical life and intellectual life then I’m not interested in yours or his or hers. Making MY life better and adding more good to my life—friends, hobbies, spiritual practices, new experiences, skills and people is the antidote to jealousy or trying to manage or mind someone else’s life.

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