Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Tiny Choices Big Life

“True life is lived when tiny choices are made”, Leo Tolstoy believed. I know this is my writing life, do one page, try one new thing, sometimes just open a new document or save a new file and the story, essay or book is begun. I know this from early recovery too: one call, one prayer, one meeting, all those scary baby steps add up.

But now again, tiny choices, baby steps toward the life I want. I want to feel more free so no makeup today or let the bed go unmade, or leave a dish in the sink. Harder still, go for a walk –a short one not a long one—sit down and read five pages of the novel I’m enjoying instead of making that important call.

For so long we learned to put others first and do the right thing one tiny step at a time. And now we have to learn—many of us—to reverse that—to put ourselves—so uncomfortable!--first one tiny step at a time.

1 comment:

Jane said...

One thing I always have a hard time answering/deciding: What is it I want to do? I used to ask what other people wanted to do, but now I try to figure out what I want. It's really hard to know sometimes because it the old voice says to do what others want. Thank you for the reminder about baby steps in recovery.