A ritual is a way of ordering life. And so people in
recovery—where it takes a long time to return order to our lives—often create
and value rituals. Rituals have power. Our faith communities teach us rituals
to help us find faith and meaning in our lives. Almost all professional
athletes have rituals—the order in which they dress, the things they do on game
day, the special movements or gestures that precede their competition.
Performers and artists have rituals. Dancers are governed by ritual. And after
many years of recovery our rituals help us too.
Many of us have rituals for our prayer and meditation
practices. I light a candle each morning at my little altar in my bedroom—that
altar is also part of my ritual. The altar makes it clear to me—only me—that
this is prayer time. I’m sure my higher power does not care about the location
or the accessories but having the altar, small prayer rug and that candle help
me to pay attention to what I’m doing.
For meditation I have a small brass chime that makes a soft sound.
I use the chime to start my ten minutes of meditation each day. It’s a reminder
to my brain, “Oh that’s what we’re doing now.” Recently I began to use the
timer on my phone to alert me when my sitting time is over. It’s a ritual and a
helper: I don’t have to keep peeking at my watch when I’m meditating.
I’d love to hear about your rituals in recovery. Do you
write your gratitude list? Do you write your tenth step inventory at night? Or
do you say it out loud in the car as one friend does? Do you email to your
sponsor each day? For many years in Overeaters Anonymous I called my sponsor
every morning to commit my food. That external monitoring helped me get clear
about my food and making the call was a daily ritual of commitment --and
humility. I have not gone to OA in years but I still write down my food every
day. That is a ritual of self-honesty.
Do you have any rituals you use at meetings? I know a woman
who tried to always sit in the same chair, and another who always sits in the
front row to make herself pay attention. Years ago someone taught me to, “Always
look at each person as they speak, it will help you hear them.” Do you have something
you do as your gesture of truly being present at a meeting?
Rituals reinforce habits --and recovery is really a series
of positive, healthy habits. Having a ritual erases any question of, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” The
renowned choreographer Twyla Tharp talks about artistic rituals in her
wonderful book, “The Creative Habit”. She writes, “Rituals are the mechanism by
which we convert the chemistry of pessimism into optimism.”
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