Marta was an ice-skater who fell in love with Bob, a speed skater. He was very romantic but he always came too quickly and their relationship ended fast. Next she dated Bill who was a snow boarder but he always came home drunk, and refused to dress up. Then she started seeing Jason who was the ski mogul champ but the relationship was bumpy from the very start. Nothing with him was easy, nothing ever smooth.
Then Marta met Tubor who was the luge champion. She really liked him but she couldn’t tell if he liked her too. He preferred to be alone and he always seemed to be speeding away from her. She finally started hanging out with Jerry and John, the bobsled team. But they were always together and if she dated one of them the other one was always pushing her or egging her on.
One night she went to an Olympic party alone and she watched the crowd. She saw Derk, who was also a skater, twirling around with other girls. She has always assumed he was gay because of the sparkles and the sequins. But here he was in jeans. He was relaxed and flirting and laughing. Even the snowboarders couldn’t upset him. Then she saw a man enter the party with a gun. Everyone looked nervous till they realized it was Jeff from the biathlon who sometimes liked to stop and take a shot—even if he was just shopping or walking down the street.
Marta began to wonder if she should date a summer Olympian—maybe a marathoner would be the kind of man who could go the distance in a relationship. Or maybe a hurdler who would be willing to get over the obstacles that show up in any relationship. Or maybe a swimmer? No, she thought, the one she’d dated years before was all wet.
Finally Marta realized that she needed to find a mate who had all these qualities; a man who was strong and flexible and fast and strategic. She wanted a man who knew that relationships take practice and who would push through disappointment and hardship and keep a commitment no matter how he felt. That was it: A gold Medal man—she might have to wait four years but that was Marta’s goal.