I am asked by people outside of recovery why I "still go to meetings after so many years." Yeah, many people assume that once the drinking is done and the major issues are cleared up, why go back. They may be thinking of it like a medical issue. The skin is better or the cancer is gone or the surgery is over so go live your life. But recovery is about so much more--the kind of recovery I like is so much more.
I have been doing Pilates for a couple of years now. I love it, my body loves it, my posture is better, so much of my body has changed. So why go back? We wouldn't ask that question. In fact my 12 step recovery is a lot like my Pilates. This week in a Pilates class I found a new muscle. Well, I've apparently always had these really deep lower abs but I wasn't using them--the other muscles were overriding and doing all the work. But all of a sudden in one exercise (called Gyro Abs if you are into this) I felt something waaaay down there and it was a muscle group I hadn't been able to identify or isolate before. It was really hard, and now I'm aching, but it feels so good.
In the same way I continue to identify character defects, fears, nagging ideas and strengths and gifts-sometimes they are also waaaay down there, and there may be some aching at isolating them too. But later that also feels so good.