Surrender

This morning, once again, I read in my daily meditation book about surrender. And I think, yes, that’s it. Surrender. On another page in another book I read that one becomes a true servant of God by, yes, surrendering. And I think, yes, I do that. And then right there for that tiny hair’s breadth moment I think, I don’t really surrender do I? I say the words. I may even have the intention. But do I put it all—yes all—in God’s hands and then go live my life? Well, no. So I tried again this time naming the things, people, relationships, concerns, worries that I want help with or that scare me. And I say out loud, “I am turning these over to you; I do not know what is right. Help me.”

Now it is the end of this day and it has been a decent day. A better day. Will all the things I listed turn out fine? Will he love me and she like me and they not blame me and enough money come to support the small nonprofit where I work? I don’t know. But I like surrender better than not surrendering. That’s a start.