Conversations at Lunch

Over the years I’ve worked in places where groups of women lunch together. At these meals of leftovers and micro waved diet food we’ve talked about diets, men, marriage, kids, men, sex (sort of), shopping, men and yes, men.

Some of the highlights that I remember from those meals in Baltimore, DC and New York:

“You never know what is inside someone else’s marriage.”

and

“I have never found anything in a man’s wallet, dresser or medicine cabinet that made me happy.”

And when we talked about shopping and the inevitable, “Have you ever sneaked a purchase into your house”? question arose, we all copped to having done that: We’d tried
Packages compressed; Packages left in the trunk till “he” leaves for work; New shoes without the box carried in like they are the old shoes; Clothes worn home from the mall so there are no bags, etc.

But my favorite is still this: As many of us were confessing to “How I get my new clothes into the house”, Norma said indignantly “I never hide anything from Ralph.” As she was our biggest shopper and a fan of expensive goods we looked askance. She said, “NO, I just take a red pen with me when I shop.” Now, we looked horrified. “NO”, she said again, “I don’t cheat the stores I just mark down all the prices when I get to the car. I make markdowns on top of markdowns. I show Ralph my new clothes and the price tags: a $500 dress marked down three times, and I “got it” for $75. He thinks I’m the most amazing bargain shopper and he brags to his friends.”