“I came for my drinking but stayed for my thinking.” That
saying is true for me. Thirty years
after my first 12-step meeting I still wrestle with my thinking. But then, what
else is there? And doesn’t all personal growth, all change and all self-improvement
grow from changes to the way we think, and what we think about?
A couple of years ago I began working with a Cognitive
therapist. After years of insight-based therapy I knew that I knew my story so
well I could recite it. And I had baskets full of insight, but I still needed
to change behaviors, and I was still undone by my feelings.
Cognitive work helped me to understand that feelings are
always preceded by thoughts. Not always obvious and often hard to catch but
there they are. But cognitive work is work…it’s less fun than story therapy or
insight therapy. It’s a lot like doing Boot Camp at the gym versus Zumba or Ballet.
It seems like some very old advice is new and fresh and
real. Marcus Aurelius wrote a book about thinking called, “To Himself” where he
sorted out his thoughts and the way they made him feel. And Shakespeare said, “Nothing
is good or bad but that our thinking makes it so.”
I know, nice for them to say, but the more time I spend on the
cognitive work the more I see this really is so.
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