Here’s one I have to catch quite often. Maybe you too? Psycho-gossip. It can also be called Recovery-gossip or Concerned-gossip.
Yeah, I do this and it has to stop. This is the bad habit of using recovery talk and self-help lingo to gossip about another person in or out of the rooms. You know how this goes, “I’m so concerned about Natasha, her dependency issues have her totally enmeshed with that loser guy in the Thursday meeting; she really needs to do some step work.” (Translation: She’s a slut”.) Or “Bill’s food addiction is so tragic, he has not surrendered or prayed for the willingness to work an OA program.” (Translation: Whoa, Bill is packing on the pounds.”)
You can add your own Valley Girl or “deeply-concerned-voice” inflection to these statements but at core it’s a way to disguise gossip. And yes I have done it and I do it, and it's time to stop. I’m saying it here.
The longer we are in recovery, I think, the easier it is to play this game. It’s especially effective with family. Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist but I play one in my head. All the time.
Even with diagnostic language it's our motive and intent that count. Character assassination by psychobabble. Dam.