Last week in Orlando I had five days alone. I was at a conference and participated in workshops. But each morning I woke alone and swam alone and at night had dinner alone and went to my room alone and read alone and went to sleep alone.
I began to watch myself and this question formed: Who am I when I am alone? When no one is watching: what do I eat; not eat; what do I read; watch on TV? What is my fun when I’m alone? What do I laugh at when I’m not sharing a joke or anecdote with any other person? Where does my brain naturally go? What genuinely interests me—as opposed to what is supposed to interest me?
The first delightful surprise: I am never lonely or bored when I am alone. I entertain myself mightily. The inner voices that used to chew me up are not all gone but they are partnered with voices that say, “look at that” and “hey, you like this” and “what if…” And the “what if’s” are not all bad things about to happen to me.
I liked living this question: What do I want when left only to myself?
1 comment:
Very timely! I took Jim to the airport this morning and have the rich luxury of two days alone in my home. I will use your guidance to learn a little about myself in the process. Thanks hon.
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