Sunday, May 09, 2010

At Dinner on the Titanic

This week a discussion with other woman who are past the 20 year mark in recovery. Whatever issue or substance brought us in we acknowledged that it wasn’t the only thing we had to face to have good recovery. Maybe it was alcohol that led us to our first bottom, or food that provided the gift of desperation. Maybe it was men or money or work. Inevitably we get to take a good look at all of them and get help for more than one addiction.

But there is also a time in later recovery where we might decide that some issues are black and white: drugs or alcohol or certain trigger foods for some of us, but that in other areas—different ones for each woman—we’ll endorse the grey of “progress not perfection”. In some cases it is accepting life on life’s terms: there is no perfect relationship or perfect partner. And with sex and food and work we practice discernment and self-honesty.

Anhedonic by nature, I have to be careful to not live too narrow a life in the name of good recovery.

I do not want to be one of the women who refused dessert at dinner that final night on the Titanic.

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