Depression in Recovery

This is something that is not talked about in the rooms but it part of long recovery and part of the process, I think, of getting out of the woods. Just like in a fairy tale the heroine has to go thru tests and trials. In long term recovery one of those may be serious depression.

We don’t talk about it enough in the rooms because there is the “don’t scare the newcomer” and there is also some shame I think. We tend to describe recovery as an upward and forward moving trajectory…worse—better—best—till what? The Good Life? and so how can it be that after years of recovery we start to feel relay really bad? Those with les experience will begin to pick apart someone’s program: not enough meetings, needs to work the steps, younger members still on a pink cloud may cluck about what someone else “needs to do.”

Not quite. There comes a point in long-term recovery where we face depression. It may be life event related or maybe a clinical/biologic-based depression. Thank God we know now not to be telling people that they are slipping if they use medication. Anti-depressants can save lives of people in recovery. Many people need them but there is another element.

When I went thru a big depression at year nine I was told it was “God or Grow” time. The ten year mark is about making another decision about faith, belief and sober life. By then you know the program, have worked the steps, have reaped many rewards and now what are you going to do? It’s also possible that somewhere between years five and ten any underlying ACOA issues come out or come back with force, especially if there has been any early sexual abuse issues that got swept under the rug. What ever has not been talked about or dealt with so far pushes forward and I have to believe, for our good.

It’s not pretty and it’s not fun but when depression comes it can be part of recovery. WE get help of all kinds: medical, psychological and we raise our hands and talk about it and talk through it. It won’t hurt the newcomer to know all of this is part of recovery life