Presence is More Than Looking Good

By now you have seen the TED Talk by Amy Cuddy on “power posing”--If not the link is below and the TED Talk is def worth a few minutes of your time.

But what you may not have realized is that her work is about much more than creating a good impression at work or influencing how others see you. Her deeper work is about neurobiology and the brain and how our deepest wisdom comes not from thinking but from moving.

This matters to people in recovery. 

We know a lot about the brain and addiction--all those PET scans that show an addicts brain on drugs. Not very different than the public service announcements years ago that were meant to scare us away from drugs: “This is your brain on drugs” and the visual was a fried egg scrambled in the frying pan. 

And we know that detoxing from drugs or alcohol is about the brain and the body. And we get calmer as years of recovery tick by. Part of the effect is making better choices; putting ourselves in better situations; not around people that we want to fight with; we are sleeping and eating and exercising. And our brains get better.

But what else?

Last year I was in a workshop with Bessel van der Kolk—Director of The Trauma Center in Boston. He’s considered by many to be the world’s top expert on trauma and PTSD. He talked a lot about what happens to soldiers, of course, but also what happens to people who experience sexual traumas or who are in horrific accidents. 

Bessel also talked about the relationship between trauma and addiction. We’ve known about that intuitively, of course, and some recovery literature touches on that linkage. In ACOA work we talk about trauma, and we process those memories with lots of talking and sharing. But van der Kolk explained that we must change the body to create lasting change in the brain. “Calm the body to calm the brain.”

Amy Cuddy echoes van der Kolk’s work. In her book, Presence she gives the history of these studies and confirms what another AA “ancestor”—William James—documented when he

said, “feelings are the consequence of thoughts and body expression.” Over and over we are reminded to change our body in order to change our thoughts, feelings, mood and presence.

What experts like Bessel van der Kolk and Amy Cuddy recommend are breathing, yoga, walking, stretching, dancing. “Changing the body changes the brain.”

Doesn’t that make you smile? There is one of AA’s oldest slogans:

“Move a Muscle Change a Thought."

****

If you haven't seen her talk, here is Amy Cuddy on TED:

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

The Upside to Trauma--Post Traumatic Growth

The odds are pretty good that if you are in recovery you have either experienced trauma or were a participant in trauma. Many of us come from families that are "dysfunctional"--the euphemism for addicted, abusive, neglectful--all fine grounds for trauma.

We might have experienced trauma in our home as children or we used alcohol or drugs to cope with some trauma in our young lives. Some folks teeter on the edge of full blown addiction and then topple right over the edge after a traumatic experience. It's also possible that we created trauma for others. Drunk driving, bad parenting, erratic behaviors fueled by substances---sometimes the trauma we cause is, in it's own way, also traumatizing.

So we know the word and we've probably used it's cousin: PTSD--Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The work of recovery helps us with trauma. We admit powerlessness, we surrender, we grieve, we own our side of the street and we endeavor to change. But we also fear that constant hard work and vigilance is the best we'll get. Or that other word, "resilience". Not a bad thing, but still…where is the promised "happy, joyous and free"?

Except that sometimes we do feel that, and then maybe we wonder, "Am I in denial?" If I have a trauma background shouldn't I be struggling all the time? That's been the message for years--for those of us abused as children, as adults, or who faced military traumas or horrific accident or illness.

Now we have a new word for "happy, joyous and free" after trauma. It's this: "Post-Traumatic Growth" and it is the recognition--with very serious scientific backing--that some of us get stronger because of trauma.

We know that old quote, "stronger in the broken places" but that always felt like a platitude. Until now, tonight. Tonight I am tearing through a brand new book--published today! -that makes the case for a life even better than simple resilience following trauma.

The new book is called, UPSIDE, and the author is Jim Rendon.

Rendon spent years interviewing social scientists, physicians and survivors of trauma, and his book combines all of learning to show us that it is truly possible to thrive and not just survive trauma. This book is hope in hard-cover for so many of us, and it is validation as well, that being happy after trauma is not a sign of denial.

This is going to be an important book for therapists and coaches and counselors and especially for folks in addiction treatment, so we can back up our promises with science and research, when we say that no matter what happened, you can be happy, joyous and free.

The Science of Gratitude

In the past few weeks gratitude has been a regular topic in meetings. And when a personal struggle is mentioned the recommendation is often, “Make a gratitude list” as a way to shift one’s perception.

When I was getting sober in Baltimore I used to hear this from the old-timers: “Make a gratitude list and start with, “I am not on fire.” That works. 

But it’s also true—as with much other good newcomer advice, that we get too smart and we demand fancier solutions. So maybe when we hear "gratitude list", we might roll our eyes (even just on the inside) or think, “I know, I know” but not actually make the list.

Now science—neurobiology, in fact-- is our new truth-telling sponsor offering that same advice. The leading trauma clinician and researcher, Bessel Van der Kolk, M.D.

speaks to the neurological role of gratitude in healing trauma and in shifting perception. He calls it, “States and thoughts of appreciation.”

Van der Kolk says this about using gratitude lists: “States and thoughts of appreciation take our system into coherence. Hence gratitude is healing.” By coherence he means the alignment of the Vagus Nerve (running stomach to brain), which we now know, plays the central role in regulating our emotions and aligning perception, feeling and behavior.

An interesting medical side note: all of those ancient beliefs about where the center of knowing existed always said “in the gut”, hence “gut feeling”, were quite accurate as they understood the role of the Vagus Nerve—long before it was named and claimed.

So when your sponsor says “Make a gratitude list” take it as medical advice. You could save a co-pay, and even see some physical complaints resolve by simply, putting pen to paper and starting with:

 1. I am not on fire.
………………………………………………………………...

Read more about Bessel van der Kolk:

http://www.traumacenter.org/about/about_bessel.php

Read more about gratitude, sponsors and recovery in "Out of the Woods--A woman's Guide to Long-term Recovery." http://www.amazon.com/Out-Woods-Womans-Long-Term-Recovery/dp/1937612473

Ode to the Brain

I'm at the Cape Cod Symposium on Addictive Disorders and it is a smorgasbord of recovery, psychology, business, art  and science. Here is one of the lovely take-aways from a session on neuro-plasticity of the brain and healing the traumatized brain.

This is  aYoutube that is also oddly comforting--just the thing for an achey brain.

http://youtu.be/JB7jSFeVz1U