It is suggested that we “practice these principles in all of
our affairs”, and these principles are the twelve steps and they are the
concepts of honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and service.
I like to think that, especially after all these years, that
I do that. I like to imagine myself someone who is a good partner and a good
friend and a good neighbor—and I can point to specific ways in which I am those
things.
But there’s another “affair” in which we must keep
practicing and this one is one of the hardest. (The actual hardest is in our
intimate affairs—with spouses and romantic partners—because we want sooo much
and we are so afraid of not having that relationship go our way.) But up there
at the top is who we are and how we are in the workplace.
Can I stay honest there? Not just not taking the pens and
the Post-its but emotionally honest while maintaining appropriate work
boundaries and a professional demeanor.
Can I remain open-minded? Whew!—that means I consider the
possibility that I --and my way-- is not right? Can I be a beginner even while positioning
myself as expert and competent enough to be respected?
Can I be willing? Willing to pitch in. Willing to help out.
Willing to do someone else’s work sometimes. Willing to receive feedback
graciously. And willing to really want that feedback and willing to ponder it,
examine myself and make deep change?
And can I be of service? Can I help not just the people on
my team but someone else as well—and not finagle to get credit. Can I go the
extra mile, the extra hours, or the extra project without a grand show of
either heroics or false humility? (You know this one right: “Oh no, happy to
help, anything for the team?” while secretly hoping everyone who matters has
taken note).
Yeah. I know. This “In all our affairs” is a hard one. At
work I am at my most “progress not perfection” self. And I have to add humor
and gentleness to the tools of this practice.
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