Day One: I notice the complaints in my email. Just certain
ways of saying things. A little zinger here, a criticism there. The good news
is that it’s in writing, so I see it before I say it, and so I just back space,
back space, back space. In actual speech no such luxury.
Day Two: In the morning I run into a close friend and she
asks me what’s happening in my day and without thinking out comes total
crankiness about some work stuff. Just 1, 2, 3…. And then I think, “Oh, that
was a complaint!” And it was the combination of complaint/gossip. Yuck. They do
ride together.
Day Three: At work I’m more aware of my goal. (I have Post-it
reminders in my planner and on my
keyboard…) But I have to work hard to say what I need to say about work stuff—to
say what is not good or what is difficult without complaining. I am becoming
aware that there is a difference and there is a line, and I can feel when I cross it.
Day Four: The feelings arrive. There is a kind of loneliness—a
hollowness in not complaining. Is complaining a way to connect? Is it a defense
against the feeling of not connecting? Huh. Can I connect without complaints?
Are my complaints defensive? Of course they are. Can I feel the loneliness and
not complain to push away the feelings?
1 comment:
One post makes me cry, this one makes me laugh. That's it - I'm heading over to my fb page to direct women to your blog. You simply must be shared. I look forward to continuing to read and comment on your posts, Diane. And I'm ordering your books!
~Dawn~
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