Maybe this is one of those consequences of long recovery but recently I’ve realized that my serenity prayer has been on automatic pilot and that I need to refresh it to really hear it. I know the words and I say the words but I haven’t had those words come from my heart in a long time.
In fact, I realized this week that I have been missing the “wisdom” part of the prayer completely.
When I began to listen in to hear how my head automatically fills in parenthetical thoughts I heard the serenity prayer in my head going something like this:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Them, you, other people, most things—yeah that’s right, I’m not in control). Courage to change the things I can (That would be me, my job to change myself, Oh dam, it’s me again, my fault, my side of the street, gotta work on me some more.) And the wisdom to know the difference. (Huh? The difference? Sometimes it’s not me? I don’t have to automatically assume my bad?)”
My recent gift has been the back covers of our Grapevine Magazine. The new editorial team has a fabulous graphic designer who makes the Serenity Prayer on the back of each issue into a work of art---styles vary but each is a beauty. The design made me look at the prayer in a new way—kudos to graphic design—and I heard what I had been doing with that prayer.
Wisdom, huh?
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