This is a day that prayer is necessary and I have to pray without ceasing. I am unsettled and don’t know why. That’s the part I hate most. I want to figure it out so I can fix this mood. But that’s addict thinking isn’t it? I want to fix discomfort now. But OK, I can’t. It’s fall. It’s September and all those things I put off “until September” are tumbling out of the closet, calendar and to-do list. I’m achey and sore—is it from exercise or a new terrible illness? Yes, I go there in my head. Is it my job? My relationship? My age? Or just simple ennui?
I’m unsettled. It’s Thursday. I’m praying.
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Your sub-concious, as Marion Woodman might say, is asserting itself, and because the sub-concious is powerful, it will continue to do so until it gets its due. If you think that you can live and justify your life's behavior by skipping atop the waves, think again. At some point the waves will overcome you, and then maybe you have a chance. This is just the beginning.
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